Smoked
by AnimeRockMusic0315
Summary: Two is supposedly better than one. Not unless your Smoker and the 2 just so happen to be the D brothers. Cause in that case zero is the way to go. Too bad he can't get rid of them that easy. Multiple one-shots, yaoi, fluffy, crack
1. Spoiled Brat

**Smoked**

**A/N: So basically this is a series/drabble of one-shots on the pairings SmoAce(Smoker x Ace) SmoLu(Smoker x Luffy). And pretty much anything that has to do with Smoker with either one or both D brothers. Some will be fluffy others yaoi and others just random crack. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

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**Ch.1: Spoiled Brat**

"Kiss me." "Why would I do that?" "Because I asked."

"You say that like it means something." Annoyed sigh and smoke from a cigar filled the room. "Please." "I said no. Deal with it."

"Fine then" arms folded but it wasn't over. The tip of the cigar burn rapidly. "The hell. What are you doing." "You're the one who wouldn't kiss me. I think you deserve this."

Smoker pulled the cigar out his mouth. He looked over at the pirate who was grinning mischievous from ear to ear. "You're a special kind of brat aren't you?" He grabbed another cigar and prepared to light it.

Ace beat him to it, igniting the tip with his power. "You're the one who's being stubborn." Smoker eyebrows twitched in anger "what are you doing here anyway? Do you have any idea what will happen if you were, seen." Smoker was clearly mad and that would scare anyone. But Ace wasn't anyone,you don't get the title Fire Fist Ace just for being 'anyone'.

"Yeah, yeah I know what'll happen if I get caught" he jumped on Smoker's desk, sitting right in front of him. Smiling Ace continued, "but that's a big 'if'. And we both know I won't get caught." He was right, they both knew there was no risk in anyone catching them. The fact that Ace was right about that annoyed Smoker to no end.

Ace smirked again, "so how about that kiss." Smoker sighed, taking another blow of his cigar, "why do you want one anyway." He was beyond pissed at the moment, Ace wasn't even suppose to be here. Plus this was keeping him from going finishing his work and going home. "Awe, Smokey" he hated that name 'Smokey' which was one of the main reasons Ace constantly used it whenever he was upset. "Don't be that way, all I'm asking for is a kiss and nothing more."

Ace was striking in a nerve inside of Smoker. A bunch of nerves as he was grinning from ear to ear. "Your a nuisance, you know that" Smoker grumbled. 'Hey, I thought you said I was a brat" Ace teased "Luffy's the nuisance." Smoker groaned at that, "please don't remind me that there's another one of you. If my hair wasn't already white, I would've been went gray." "I would've been went gray" Ace mocked back making Smoker grit his teeth. "Loosen up a bit, Smokey."

"One, I'm not going 'loosen up' cause you're getting on my damn nerves," Smoker said angrily shouting. "And I've told you already, quit calling me Smokey. You arrogant retarded no good waste of space-" he was about to yell out more insults when lips pressed, against his own. Ace held Smoker's face close to his as he kissed him.

Pulling away Smoker glared at him, "what the hell." "You have such a, way with words." Ace said grinning from ear to ear. He brought Smoker's face close to kiss him. "You annoying brat" Smoker said, noting quite pulling away from the kiss. His hands pressed against Ace's chest, the kiss getting more intense. Biting down he felt Ace moan into the kiss.

They kissed and kissed, hands running against each other, moaning into each other. Ace moved his hands further down Smoker's chest, his hips bucking into him. Smoker grabbed his hand and pulled away from the kiss, thus ending the moment. Ace looked at him, his eyes half-lidded "why'd you stop?" He wrapped his arms around Smoker's neck, leaning close for another kiss. Again Smoker stopped him, earning an annoyed pout from the pirate.

He knew exactly how Ace got during times like this. And if he didn't stop him now, well that would lead to... He paused, just thinking about it would turn him on. Ace was a pirate, he was a guy, he was his 'enemy'. This was wrong on so many levels. He pulled Ace off of him trying not to look at him.

But Ace being Ace didn't take offense. He laughed and playfully smiled, sure he was a little annoyed about being rejected, but he got what he wanted in the beginning. "That was fun, wasn't it. We should do it again." There he was being the arrogant and childish jerk that Smoker classified him as. "Get out of here, you dumbass" he said taking out a cigar.

Again Ace lit the cigar before he could, opening a window so he could leave. Leaning halfway out the window he stopped. "The hell are you still doing here." Smoker growled. Ace laughed, "what no good night kiss?" A book was thrown at his face, nearly throwing him off the building. "Okay, okay. I'll leave." Ace said jumping out the window and disappearing into the night.

Smoker took another puff of his cigar watching him through the window. "The hell am I going do with him?"

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** A/N: Not much I have to say here. Just review please. Thanks**


	2. Boomerang

**Smoked**

**A/N:It's funny I type most of these up at school. So they get posted every so often at random times because I don't have a computer at home. At least not a working one. Oh well enjoy the story.**

**Warning: This chapter is more smut and yaoi and stuff.**

**Disclaimer: Nope sorry I own nothing. Try the guy over there -**

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**Ch. 2: Boomerang**

"Get the hell off me. You elastic freak" Smoker said angrily trying to shake off a certain Strawhat that was for some reason latched onto his back. And he couldn't pull him off, like some sort of octopus or boomerang, he ended up coming right back around his neck. "Honestly, what is wrong with you?"

"Why'd you call me an elastic freak" Luffy whined in his ears. Stretching out his cheek he mumbled "I'm a rubber man. See" he snapped his cheek back in place making his head snap back by the force. Smoker practically sweat-dropped at the statement, 'you really are an idiot' he thought to himself. "Elastic means rubber you dumbass."

Luffy caught him off guard, by slapping the back of his head, "watch you're language. No need to be mean, you don't see me calling you smoke now do you." Smoker wasn't sure if he should scream because of the stupidity or cry for the same exact reason. "Why are you on my back anyway?" Luffy placed his arm on top of Smoker's head and leaned down on it "hmm, I'm not sure. But I'm hungry, so can we go eat."

Now Smoker had reached a breaking point, he was going to destroy the brat if it was the last thing he'd do. Not only rid the world of another pirate, but hopefully make it a little smarter. Reaching his hand up, he grabbed Luffy's shirt collar and threw him off, hoping it would get rid of him. If only it was that easy; the elastic-rubber nuisance was persistent.

When Smoker swung Luffy over his shoulder, Luffy wrapped his legs around Smoker's waist and spun his body around him. So when thrown his upper body swung back, far "Haha" he yelled "this is fun." Holding his hat down he braced himself to snap back. If only Smoker had done the same. "Wooohooo" Smoker heard in the distance. "Shit" he said to himself realizing that Luffy was still latched on to him, but it was too late to even try to pull him off. "Incoming" Luffy shouted as he crashed straight into Smoker's chest, sending them both crashing through several buildings.

They finally stopped crashing when Smoker's back slammed into the wall of an abandoned building. He panted, trying to catch his breath, his whole body hurting from the force of the crash. "Mm" Luffy whined, lifting himself up "that hurted." He was sitting on top of Smoker's lap, his face, hair, and body covered in dirt, and the most irresistible pout on his face. Smoker took a slow sallow, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't take his eyes off him. Luffy pouted once more, and then yawned "I'm tired now." He practically dropped all his weight and leaned down across Smoker's chest, still whining. "And I'm still hungry, and lost, and bored, and hungry. Are you even listening to me, I want meat."

Smoker took another gulp, he needed a cigar, that'd help at the moment. He couldn't even think straight with the way Luffy was pressed up against him, whining in his ear. Unconsciously he placed his hands on Luffy's waist and pulled him closer against him. He gave a low grunt at the confused yelp Luffy gave as he pulled away from his chest.

"Smo-" lips smashed into his own stopping him mid sentence. Luffy caught off guard by the kiss, slowly began to relax into it, slightly whimpering at the pressure. Smoker growled pulling Luffy closer against him. He was fully hard, this day had taken an unexpected turn, but his libido now fully awaken;there was no going back and Luffy was both the problem and the solution to this dilemma. His hands trailed up under Luffy's shirt, making their way to the small pert nubs, tugging and pulling at them. He was going make this as quick as he possible could, but still enjoyable.

Luffy whimpered and his body arched into Smoker's. "Smoker" he whimpered pulling away slightly from the kiss, but at the same time wrapping his arms around Smoker's neck. His eyes pleading and his voice again whiny. "What" Smoker groaned annoyed, pulling of Luffy's shirt and making their way for his pants. Luffy pushed away again, "wait." He pulled away til, so he was face to face with a very pissed off Smoker. "What is it", Smoker gritted through his teeth. He was past caring if the brat wanted this or not, but him pulling away wasn't making anything easier.

Luffy turned his head away, slightly blushing, "you're going too fast" he whined. Smoker blinked confused, "what. I'm going to fast?" That didn't even make sense to him, all he had done was kiss and touch his upper body. Luffy turned back towards Smoker and placed his hand on Smoker's and smiled at him. Shaking his head, "see all you got to do is slow done. Pretty sure someone like you could do that." Whether that was an insult or a compliment, Smoker didn't know.

Luffy leaned forward and kissed Smoker. Immediately Smoker took over the kiss, not really caring about the speed or force he was using, their mouths smashing into each other. But Luffy himself didn't seem to mind the pressure, as he was busy trying to undo Smoker's shirt. He let out a defeated groan, pulling away and folding his arms. "Your shirt's too complicated. I can't get it off," Luffy whined defeated.

Smoker again gave an annoyed and frustrated sigh, taking hold of Luffy's hands. He unbuttoned his shirt; his eyes watching Luffy watching him. Luffy placed his hands on top of Smoker's chest, feeling the thick muscles under his touch "Wow" he said breathlessly running his hands Smoker's chest. "you must work out a lot" he said as a matter of fact, his eyes glued to body in front of him. A small moan escaped his lips as Smoker placed his hands on the small of his back. His hands trailed lower, stopping at the pants line and Luffy shivered under his touch. And as much as Smoker would've enjoyed taking his time with this; he couldn't, but he'd make this as enjoyable as he possibly could.

Luffy lifted himself up, so his pants could be taken off. He whimpered feeling Smoker's hand on top of his hard member. He gave a small whimper as Smoker, who seemed to enjoy the sounds he was making, squeezed harder. "Nee, Smoker" Luffy whined his body shaking under Smoker's touch, "please, I can't" his voice begging.

Smoker took a slow sallow, watching Luffy shiver underneath him, his own erection throbbing painfully in his pants. He had to do this now, before the both of them went crazy. He brought three fingers up to Luffy and said suck. And just like that, he was pissed of again. "Why" Luffy questioned staring at fingers in front of him. "Do they taste good? I bet they taste like smoke and I'm pretty sure smoke doesn't taste good. I'm hungry again." He let out a huffed sigh and proceed to whine, "Smokey, hurry up. I can't take it anymore."

Now Smoker wanted to punch him, he was worse then him and he was not going to mention 'him.' Looking at Luffy who was currently pouting, which was cute beyond belief, he practically rammed his fingers into his mouth. Luffy first choked from the force, but quickly relaxed again sucking on the fingers, his tongue sliding along the digits. Then without warning, he bit down and Smoker groaned. "Son of a bitch," Smoker cursed under his breath. He pulled his fingers out, "the hell was that for." Luffy gave him a pleading look, "sorry."

Smoker rolled his eyes, he didn't have time to get frustrated with this. He grabbed Luffy legs and spread them apart. Luffy gasped feeling Smoker's finger beginning to enter inside him. "S-smoker, what are you doing" he gasped as the finger pushed deeper inside him. He let out a high, feminine mewling sound as Smoker slide another finger into him. It was painful, but a good kind of pain Luffy concluded, his body shaking uncontrollably. Another a finger thrusted inside him, hitting a spot which sent him over the edge.

Smoker watched as Luffy squirmed and shook on his fingers, letting out the cutest sounds he'd ever heard. "Smokey, please", Luffy whined, his voice so cute that Smoker couldn't even get mad at the name. Quickly he took of the rest of his clothing. Spreading Luffy's legs out apart. "Hurry" Luffy pleaded as Smoker lifted his legs up, spreading them as wide as they could go. "Needy aren't we" Smoker mused placing on hand on Luffy's leaking and hard member. The moan he was given in response was all he needed.

He lifted Luffy's legs up, aligning his member to the quivering hole that immediately pulled him in as soon as he pressed against it. Smoker let out a low growl as he trusted deeper, the sounds of skin against skin echoing through the room. Luffy moaned getting louder with every thrust, his whole body shaking. His back arched and legs tightened around Smoker pulling him deep, til he was screaming in pure bliss.

Smoker knew he hit Luffy's weak spot by the way he shook and tightened around him. They were both close, Smoker could tell by the sounds echoing through the room. "Smoker" Luffy cried out, using his arms to grab hold of his shoulders for support. "I.." He screamed mid-sentence as his body shook all over as his he came.

Smoker grunted watching as Luffy went slack against the floor panting out of breath. With a few more thrust he came, a low growl rippling through his chest. Luffy shivered, feeling both their essences sliding down his legs. He was really tired, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath. Pulling out, Smoker laid down next to him, staring at the ceiling. 'The hell is wrong with me' he thought to himself, taking a glance at the boy lying breathlessly next to him. Luffy was just that a boy, and a pirate at that. Smoker thought to himself, 'I really need to rethink my decisions.'

Sitting up he began putting his clothes back on, he couldn't afford to stay in here. Plus he had to get back to his post, and take whatever reports that were needed to handed in. Luffy, himself also began to stand up, the best his body would allow putting his clothes back on. There wasn't much being said, wasn't much that needed to be said. Once dressed, Smoker proceed to walk out the door.

He was stopped mid-step by a pair of hands draping over his back. "The hell" he huffed annoyed sensing what was about to happen, but it seemed to late as Luffy pressed up against his back. "What are you doing" he gritted through his teeth trying to shake the nuisance off. It was morning all over again. "My body hurts and I'm hungry" Luffy whined "so you have to carry me until I find my nakama. They're always getting lost." He huffed and grabbed his hat from the other side of the room. Putting it on he pointed to the door and exclaimed, "let's go Smokey."

Smoker snarled at the remark, "if I find your nakama, I'm capturing them and executing them. Nothing but a pain in my ass." Luffy slapped the back of his head "don't threaten my crew. I like you Smokey but I will hurt you if you talk about my nakama." He folded his arm on top of Smoker's head.

"You know Smokey," Luffy laughed as Smoker took out two cigars and lit them up "your pretty dumb." Smoker stopped just before putting the cigar in his mouth "the hell is that suppose to mean." Luffy laughed again "well you're smoke right? If you wanted to get me off of you, could of just turned into smoke and I would of fell off of you." Luffy laughed again, sighing happily "you must really like me."

Smoker wanted to bang his head against a wall. Why had he not thought of that, was he losing his touch. Or was it his mind? But taking Luffy's words in context he turned his upper body into smoke, hearing a soft thud as the boy fell through him. He needed to clear his head and rethink somethings. Turning the rest of his body into smoke and cursing as he did, he disappeared through the window.

Luffy watched as Smoker disappeared, "bye Smokey, see you soon." He laughed to himself, 'boy, what a guy.' Standing up he placed his hat on his head and set out to find his nakama and of course some meat.

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**A/N: I have no idea where I was going with this (well I kind of did xP) and sorry if it took a while to update. I've been busy with school. And I still haven't decided on how many chapters this story will have. More than 5 that's for sure. I'll figure that out later. Remember to review and tell me what you think.**


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